dreizig-30

6/4/2011

Visit to 吴桥 today, 吴桥 is an acrobatics town, where many of the townsfolk know street magic, acrobatics, or anything performance related to a circus. 

It isn’t the best place to go. 

I had no idea what actually was going on in the town. Until I saw the murals on the wall, then I realized. I don’t like it. 

We mainly stayed in an acrobatics theme park, watching many daredevil stunts and pushing human limits to the extremes. I felt sickened as I watched performers swallow metal health balls, smash glass bottles against their head, wrap a steel wire around their neck and drive a motorcycle in a giant metal ball. It was certainly pushed my limits watching these performers do their thing, day in and out, the same thing over and over. I always wondered if they actually like what they are doing to themselves, whenever I see their tricks well done on stage, I cannot imagine all the countless hours spent trying to improve on them, getting injured along the way, all the times they push themselves to the end just to perfect that stunt. 

You start to wonder should you be amazed with what they can do, or should you be upset with all that pain they go through just to perform for you. Let me say something straight. I can’t bear to watch any of it. I know they have practiced really hard, but this is just heartbreaking. 

Before lunch we were watching a tiger tamer and his tiger in a cage, housed in a local zoo. I have never seen an animal taming performance before, and the way the tamer whipped the tiger was just plain painful to watch. 

One of the sirs shared with us that even if the tiger wasn’t in this situation now, it would have been shot and killed, and this was the way it could stay alive. I don’t know how they can bear it. Imagine the mighty feared tiger doing the actions of a cat. Even as a cat-lover, I don’t see anything cute in that. 

The worst was when they chained the tiger to a metal table and opened the doors to the cage, encouraging people to take photos with the tiger. I am shocked by the mere disrespect towards the tiger’s abilities. They take the tiger to be some prop in a fashion shoot, where you can pose and play with. Seeing many of my friends queuing for a picture, I hesitated before stepping inside the cage. 

I never took the photo. 

I stepped inside the cage and felt sorry for the tiger. Charging tourists to take a photo with the tiger is just encouraging them further. Why can’t anyone see that? 

Before lunch, tiger taming. After lunch, child acrobats

It hurts to watch them. I noticed a girl who was performing, and she looked barely older than my 12 year old sister, or even younger. 

I feel hurt when I see anyone’s sister performing as an acrobat. You can call me a wimp or anything you like, but I don’t see anything to be proud of if you didn’t willingly do it. They are not given a proper education so that they do not have the skills or knowledge to leave the troop. The most upsetting is that there are parents who sell their own kids to the troop just to pay off debts or to find someone to take care of their kids for them. I took some photos, but those are the photos that you don’t want to see again. 

It hurts. I don’t want to see my sisters or anyone I know in that situation, not to mention a complete stranger. Maybe I’m just too humane for my own good. 

Yes, the life I lead is much luckier than any of them. I feel sorry for myself. 

neunundzwanzig-29

5/4/2011

Everything seems to be coming to an end, whether we like it or not. 

Today we interviewed the 煎饼果子uncle. He was warm and friendly towards us, and we were joking to the extent of suggesting him opening his own store in Ngee Ann’s Makan Place, sure that his store would have one of the best businesses around. 

After doing our interview segment (which lasted for around 5 minutes +), we decided to head back to class. On our way back, I wanted to pick up a 肉饼to contain my hunger and the uncle saw me trying to pay for it. He insisted I take my money back and said it was on the house. He also got a shop assistant to hand me a packet of soymilk to go with it. 

This is the 2^nd time in my life I receive free food.

I feel quite shameless to retell the 1^st.

1^st time was a Saturday night my friends decide to dye/perm/cut/highlight their hair. We had eaten a bowl of grass noodles from a nearby store and I wanted a biscuit from the barbeque store. I pointed to the biscuit and he prepared for me, adding extra sauce and seasoning. When one of my friends came over and he recognized her as one of the Singaporean students that always go to his stall for dinner, he asked me whether I was with them

I should have said no.

He saw my friends calling out to me, and told me that the biscuit was on him

I turned bright red. I never believed in making someone pay for my own meals, and I always insisted on paying the bill, and taking free food was just… shameless to me. Initially I took his gesture as to be bad, he was belittling me for being unable to pay for my own snacks and meals. Singaporean shop owners will at most offer you discounts and free gifts, but the way they do it in china is to insist you take it, free of charge. Is this their style of hospitality? It’s so different from Singapore’s which doesn’t feel real and from the heart to me, but business is business and they earn their living from the stall, so taking away a chance to earn isn’t very fair of me. 

I feel guilty inside. I must quit being a selfish person.

achtundzwanzig-28

4/4/2011

Full on IS preparation today. A few more days before all of this ends. 

Strangely I just realized how wasteful my life has been throughout this while. In Singapore, I don’t blink an eye when I buy and the shop assistants hand me plastic bags. Not to mention my preference for anything individually wrapped. And then I bring my life from Singapore to china, and I do exactly what I’ve been doing

And I realize the amount of plastic that floats around in the room which 1) becomes unused or 2) rendered useless. My life is really plastic straddled. Even when buying water, I choose the kind with plastic shrink wrap around the bottles instead of a box.

All for the sake of convenience. How I hate convenience. The more we depend on it, the more side effects it has on us, so much to the extent that we forget the basic things that we could have done ourselves, but we don’t, saying it takes up too much trouble

There is no such thing is too much trouble. It’s just the lack of convenience that we harp about. 

I just hope not to the extent where we’re substituting the little things like writing a memo with a word document, a drawing or doodling an iphone picture, or even a voice recording instead of speaking, because we’re hoping we can use it over and over again. The sake of convenience. Ah, how nice.  

And very soon we're substituting regular meals for pieces of gum like in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". I don't think I'll need to buy water then.  

siebenundzwanzig-27

3/4/2011

2^nd last Sunday spent in Tianjin city. 10 of us originally decided to go to the Italian food street, but we ended up in the 滨江道 again. And sad to say I ended up buying a shirt, vest and a pair of boots.

Gr. I need to learn to manage my finances. 

Is there something to write for today? 

Yes.

Today my family would probably be gathering for 清明. Everybody except me, cause I’m stuck in china. This year’s 清明 is very important to my family. You wouldn’t feel good to know that you’re missing out on something, where your presence would be paramount. It’s like someone taking the blame for the wrong you did, I need to go to mandai after I come back. Guilt ridden, that’s what I am, for being unable to fulfill the basic responsibilities as a daughter.

Tuesday will be even harder on me. I’m supposed to be in Singapore, but I miscalculated the dates and I thought I will be back when 清明 rolls around the corner. Even the shops I visit around the hotel started selling offerings 2 weeks ago. I guess no matter the place, the Chinese values still remain in place. Time will tell if my parents did their job well. 

I know physically I’m here. But my heart took a plane trip back, long, long time ago. I don’t know if they should be glad to read about this. 

I’m going home. I’m going home soon.

sechundzwanzig-26

2/4/2011

Last day in Beijing today. We must train for better stamina.

Being the last day in Beijing, we went to do what most tourists would come to try-climbing the Great Wall of China. Climbing is an understatement to me, we should say scaling the wall. As we stopped along the way to the entrance, I was amazed by the advancement of Chinese construction. They were able to construct solid barriers out of stone on the mountainous region, 1000+ years ago.

To them, constructing HDB blocks pose no difficulty at all. If they can build a solid wall in the mountainous region, building a block must be a piece of cake.

So we attempted to scale the wall. 

This was where things started to get more interesting. You see, I have just one problem. I get all jumpy whenever I turn behind to see how far I’ve climbed. It gets worse when I remember that the route so far isn’t a straight path but a slanted path upwards. 

To make things easier for me, I walked really slowly so that everyone else would go ahead of me, so I would get distracted by taking photos and forget that I’m climbing a wall where everything seems easier. Until I turn behind occasionally to see anything I missed, then I look down and mentally I’m screaming, but I’m pretending to be a cucumber on the outside. 

I don’t remember panicking so much. But my friends kept pushing me forward, walking behind me (no one walks behind me, because the kid always runs off to take photos of things people walk past) to make sure I wasn’t lost (yes, the tendency to wander off is always there). And when people boost that they have climbed the great wall, I still think they’re lying because they didn’t walk from end to end. I would say I just stepped on it. Climb=walk from end to end. Step=walk one small section.

I would love to do that one day (climbing great wall). Complete with backpack, sleeping bag, walking boots and camera. Wouldn’t that be something? At least the photos will be worth.  Other nitty gritty stuff can wait. 

Also I don’t understand how anyone can make their achievements sound… spectacular. I’m going to laugh at the person who boasted that he/she has climbed the great wall. (Refer to above, specifically 2 paragraphs before this, the last line, do you see it?)

I would like to meet somebody who has done just that. I think that’s something to be proud of. 

Spam texted my mother at night. It’s time to go home.